Am I a cliché?

One of the great things about Bali is how easy it is to meet new people here. You sit down in a café and before you have even ordered your cup of coffee your neighbor has introduced himself and you know the name of his dog and what his favorite breakfast is. But one of the first questions that normally arises when I meet someone new is “so what do you do here?”. And that standard, innocent question brings up the world of feelings for me.

Shame

2 years ago I have swapped my safe and comfortable (but stressful and competitive) job as a corporate consultant in Financial Services for a life as freelancer in Bali, working as a yoga teacher, health & nutrition coach and running holistic health retreats. I am so proud of myself that I had the guts to break through the paved path and follow my heart. I know that there are so many people who are too afraid to step out of their comfort zone and pursue something more unexpected, so to say. Even though the journey isn’t always easy, I am so happy and realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

So then whuttttt do you mean, girl, talking about feelings when someone is just interested what you do here?

Here’s the issue: somehow I feel sort of ‘ashamed’ or uncomfortable at least, to say that I am a yoga teacher and health coach. Yes, read that again. I feel ashamed. Whenever I introduce myself, I still catch myself saying something like “I work as a yoga teacher, BUT I used to work in Singapore as a corporate consultant”. How sad is that? As if working in the health sector is not good enough, and I have to prove something to this other person (or is it to myself?!).

The other day, a guy literally asked me after my introduction “don’t you feel like a cliché out here as a yoga teacher”? Thanks man, you just ruined my day. I get so annoyed if people are so narrow minded and generalize like this. Too bad for this poor guy, because he got to see my inner bitch for the remainder of our chat – which obviously didn’t last for much longer (haha). But afterwards I realized that maybe it wasn’t his fault, and my response said more about me and my feeling of self-worth. Why did his question piss me off and hurt me? Was it true in some way and did I feel this as a confrontation with myself? Why do I still feel ashamed introducing myself? Is there something inside of me – a conditioned, limiting belief – that being a yoga teacher and health coach is worth less on the career ladder than being a project manager for a bank? Besides the financial aspect which may support this belief (I can definitely tell by my bank account, damnnn), why do I think this is true?

Limiting beliefs

Even though yoga is such a normal and accepted thing these days, the image around yoga teachers is still very much that we are spiritual hippies, dreamers, bare footers, vegans, kombucha drinkers and that we just float through life with no sense of stability. But besides a small group that does live their life like that (and are happy with that, which is great!), that’s not me. I’m me. I am Myrthe. I am a vibrant, happy, smiling, loving and compassionate light being. I AM not a yoga teacher, I sometimes – quite a few times a week – take the ROLE of yoga teacher. Just like I sometimes take the role of daughter, friend, sister, lover or corporate consultant. But in any of these roles, I am me. Whenever you take a yoga class with me, you don’t just get a nice yoga sequence, you get me and my energy. Whenever I would run a project meeting with my team back in Singapore, you don’t just get an executed project plan, you would get me and my energy. This society has made us to believe that an office job (in my case) is ‘better’ because it provides security, stability and a title. But it shouldn’t matter what I do, or which role I take on. You like me as me – not the role I fulfill – or you don’t.

And I believe this is the key: we are afraid of not being liked and loved. So maybe I am afraid that people don’t like me (anymore) because I don’t have that title, and stability and security anymore? I am learning to let go of this thought, and the one thing that I have picked up and act upon much more often is that there will always be people that don’t like me. You can’t please the whole world, because we are all different (thank god, how freakin’ boring would that be?!). But yet we try. So hard. And that’s what so many yogis and coaches here are doing. But we lose ourselves on the way. And you know what happens when you lose yourself? You become like too many other people. You lose what makes you unique, because you try to fit in. You become a cliché… And there you have it. The cliché.

You are on your path

There are days that I do feel like a complete cliché, having done the 180 degrees career switch, going from high heels and fancy dresses to flip flops and yoga pants (read my full story on how that happened here). There are so many other yogis and coaches here that all try to pursue the same thing, and that sometimes just makes me feel ‘stupid’ or like ‘1-in-a-million’ and I’m afraid that people look at me thinking I am that idealistic type that thinks she can change the world. But there are also days – and thankfully these are in the majority – where I just feel deeply that whatever my life looks like from the outside, I am on my path and no one else’s.

Is there even such a thing as a cliché? Aren’t we all on our own path? Yes, there are so many other yogis, health coaches and retreat organizers here in Bali right now, but aren’t we all just still unique in our own way? I was talking to a good yogi friend today and she said something really wise: “as long as we don’t just ‘copy paste’ and bring in more of the same stuff, there is room for everyone”. And I think that is very true. I work for a lovely studio here in Canggu (Odyssey MVMT, go check us out on www.odysseymvmt.com), and I don’t really feel that we are competing with many of the other studios here. If you come to us, you come FOR us. Because we are different than the others. Just like these other studios have something unique about them, so do we. And so does every single yoga teacher and coach on this island and anywhere else in the world. As long as you are you, and stay unique in your own special way, there is room for you. Because you will appeal to a niche group of people that love you and your style. And really, is that any different for any other profession? Aren’t you also a cliché if you step into your father’s footsteps as a dentist? Aren’t you also a cliché when you work on Wallstreet living the ‘Suits’ life? And wasn’t I just as much a cliché walking around in my high heels and tight dress on the Zuid As in Amsterdam? No, because you’re still you. And you are unique.  

What it means to be a yoga teacher

What a lot of people also don’t realize, being a yoga teacher is so much more than ‘just’ teaching people how to perform some yoga poses. I don’t like to see myself as a teacher, I prefer to see myself as a guide for people in class to explore their own practice and – with that – their life journey. Because that’s what yoga is to me. It’s a lifestyle, a life path. A path of getting to know yourself and to grow, through self-reflection and connection with your inner self. Or as the Bhagavad Gita – the yogi bible – says it: “yoga is the journey of the self, through the self, to the self”. The point here is that I feel – and this may be just my perception – that many people think that teaching a yoga class is easy, because they don’t realize that it is so much more than the poses. The moment you step into your full potential as a yogi, you start being an inspiration for people and supporting them on their journey to their self. And there is nothing easy about that I can tell you…That’s what I love about yoga and about teaching. It’s peeling off these layers and connecting with people on this deeper level. It’s the same thing I do when I coach. I don’t just tell people to eat more fiber and protein, I listen to them, try to understand where they are in life, what beliefs are limiting them and how we can break through those, and how they can nourish themselves, not just with food but in every aspect of their life. Not everyone gets that (yet), and the perception is that me coming from a highly educated, corporate environment becoming a yoga teacher seems to be ‘below my range’ for some people and therefore they judge me. But it shouldn’t matter what other people think (and yet it does), so I am trying more and more to be proud of what I do. Because it is not the actual job of teaching those yoga poses that I am proud of, it is the whole path of me stepping into my own power that I am freakin’ proud of.

Out of alignment

I feel bad about having ‘the need’ to mention my previous life as well when I introduce myself. But actually, it is also ok. Because both of these experiences have shaped me to who I am. Both of these worlds are part of who I am and what I want to be. I am a great yoga teacher, but I was also a great project manager. And to continue on that, there is still something inside of me that knows the way things are now, is not fully how it is supposed to be for me in my life. I feel I am still slightly out of alignment. Although my life is way more in line with my purpose than it used to be, something is missing. I can feel I am not living up to my full potential right now. And that is probably another reason why I find it hard to answer the “what-do-you-do-here-question”. If you are living your life in full alignment with your purpose, then you wouldn’t feel ashamed or uncomfortable saying that out loud. So something is ‘off’. It’s something that I have actually known for a long time: at some point my two worlds will come together. I can feel it. I just haven’t found the right form yet. But it’s coming, the ideas are boiling inside. More changes to come in the next few years. And whenever I do find this perfect alignment, I will shine as never before and will say with pride what it is that I do.

So hereby I apologize to the guy who asked his genuine and innocent question. It wasn’t his fault, it was me and the way I feel about myself. And becoming aware of that was all I needed. No, I am not a cliché, nor is any other yoga teacher or coach, nor are you in whatever profession you are in. As long as you stay true to your own identity and your own path. Don’t try to fit in, fit out! Because it is in that alignment, that we are able to live our lives as our best selves, to our full potential and sharing what we have to offer with this world.

Now go kick some ass today at work in the best version of yourself!

Much love,

Myrthe

P.s. If any of this resonates with you and you’d like some more personal advice on how to handle this, hit me up for your first FREE 30-minute coaching session!