Fat up and fed up with dieting

Have you ever restricted yourself with food in any way? Ever been on a diet? Whether you wanted to loose weight, gain muscle, have more energy or anything else…I bet you don’t look back on those dieting days as the best days of your life?! Or maybe you’re still in the middle of it. Maybe you’ve never stopped  since you were 15 years old. Many of us are on a never ending “diet”, always working on this better, skinnier, stronger version of ourselves. But whatever it was that motivated you to go on a diet, did you ever reach it? And even if you did, did it make you happy? Could you keep it up? Did you keep extending your goals? Were you ever “done”?

Healthy eating is not a diet, it’s a lifestyle

I’ll just put it out there: I don’t really believe in diets.

I’m not saying the theory behind diets is wrong or stupid. I think they make a lot of sense. There’s truth in every bit of advice they give in the sense that they could work for 1 person. But maybe not for another. Everybody and every body is different. So it’s quite a thing to push a particular diet onto the entire world, which is what most gurus are trying to do.

Diets can definitely work if you have a short term goal to reach. For example, if you’re significantly overweight or if you are a daily McDonalds visitor. It works when you have bad eating habits of some sort, and you need to become healthier. Any diet – paleo, vegan, Atkins, etc. – would then be an improvement, because it offers something better than what you were doing. But after a while, you’ll notice it’s not sustainable. It may not be bringing you those fast results as you had them in the first few weeks, which demotivates you and you start to reach back to your old bad habits. Plus many diets are just quite hard to keep up “forever” because of the tough restrictions. The result? A yoyo effect ending up with an even higher weight than before you started and a never really balanced and happy person.

That’s where I struggle with the concept of dieting. I believe that feeling and being healthy isn’t supposed to be a diet, but a lifestyle. One that you can maintain and makes you feel energized and empowered every day. And one that you can cheat on once in a while. Instead of dieting for 3 months, then indulging for 3 and then again dieting for 3 months, what about manifesting a sustainable and healthy lifestyle that allows you to be healthy, to enjoy life and to be YOU? Sounds great, right?

Then why is it still so hard for most people to create this for themselves? Because it takes time before you see results using this approach. Small lifestyle changes and a diet that doesn’t restrict calories will take longer to reflect in the body and the mind (yes, this is not just about the physical!). But those results will last longer and allow a balanced lifestyle. Life should also be fun and you should be able to enjoy and indulge from time to time. I live my life according to the 80/20 rule. 80% of the time I eat a healthy and balanced diet, exercise, practice self care…and 20% of the time I snack, overeat and drink alcohol.

My journey with dieting and body image

I’ve always struggled with the concept of diets and restricting myself too much with food. It only makes me want more of what I’m not supposed to have. I don’t diet to lose weight, because I’m quite happy with my body and what I look like. Instead, I maintain a healthy diet because I want to stay the way I am. People would tell me often “well, Myrt, it’s easy for you because you look so fit and all, so you don’t have to really think about what you eat”. My response then goes like this (after I wanted to hit that person on the head): there is a REASON why I look the way I look. It’s because I work my ass off to look like this – in the gym, on the mat , in the kitchen and by trying to maintain a good balanced life. Because yes, stress and other external factors have an even bigger effect on body and weight than just food and exercise.

But the main reason why I a am always working on my diet is because I struggle with issues around bloating and digestion. So my diet is customized to the foods that I do or don’t go well on (which took a while to figure out and still learning), and trying to listen to what my body needs and wants. My weight has been quite stable over the past 10 years. But my body looks have changed. I got more toned and stronger because of the yoga and personal training the past few years. Which brings me to another important note; it’s not about the weight on the scale! It’s about how you look and feel!

#obsessed

The other reason why I don’t like to restrict myself too much with food is that it makes me obsessed easily, which is not healthy. I think many of us – especially women, but also men – struggle with this in some way. But we should realize that whatever eating restrictions you put onto yourself are never really about food and often not even about looking skinny. They are about having control over at least one part in your life; about not feeling good enough for the world; about feeling unsafe; about a low self-esteem; about not feeling worthy of love; about feeling overwhelmed by life; or anything along these lines. That’s the “thing” we need to work on with ourselves. And that’s big. Learning to love ourselves and our bodies. Accepting who we truly are, and that we are all different and brought into this world with different shapes – all beautiful in themselves. In a perfect world we would all look in the mirror and think “I am perfect as I am”. There is no perfect prototype. It’s society that has made us to think we should be skinny and have long legs and what not. We can strive for this perfect flat tummy, but if we have just come into this world with a little bit more “cushion” in that area, then you can work your ass off for the rest of your life to reach a goal that you will probably never reach. Because you weren’t supposed to be like that. And thank god, you weren’t. If everyone would have the same body, the world would be boring. And also think about it like this: some people like skinny people, some people like people with a bit more to hold on to. There will always be someone who will love you and believe you are perfect for exactly what you are. And there will also always be someone who doesn’t like you for who you are. But that’s ok! You can’t please the whole world. So stop trying.

I am trying to be and feel the best version of myself. Yes, I may be one of those people who do not have the tendency to gain weight easily and my body weight and looks are quite balanced. But of course, I have things that I would like to be different about myself. But what I am learning, is to tune in more with MY body. To accept and love every single part of it. And to be the best version of myself within my own limits, no one else’s. My goal is to find a lifestyle, weight and look that fit my body type and my personality. That allow me to be and feel healthy and to enjoy life at the same time. To be human. To be myself.

I found a balance that works for me. I eat healthy and exercise most days of the week. And I have allowed myself to have indulging days, cheat days. And I feel ok with that. Because of this balanced lifestyle, my body can “handle” it now if I have a bad day and there’s no direct impact of weight gain or anything of some sort. Which makes me feel less guilty if I do it (although there will always be a little bit of guilt, so I am also still learning).

Lifestyle-mode ON

So my advice to you? Pick and choose, mix and match from different diets a few concepts that resonate with you, that make you feel good and combine that with a diet of fresh, whole and healthy foods. Get rid of processed foods, drink lots of water and increase your fresh fruit and vegetable intake. Keep that 80/20 balance and eat as much as you want of the good stuff! Forget about calorie counting, just eat good food. Make your lifestyle one that is in line with your body type. Look at yourself in the mirror every day with love and acceptance. Create a lifestyle, not a diet, that you can maintain. That is the key.

Hit me up if you’re struggling with any of this, and could use some advice on how to flip the ‘diet-mode’ into a ‘lifestyle-mode’. I’m here to support you on your journey while I’m still walking mine!

And while I’m writing this in one of Bali’s awesome cafes, guess what’s written on the wall?! “I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry”. I think that’s my biggest problem, I just get hungry all the time! And I just loveeeeee food! But you know what, that’s what makes me human. So talk to you later, I’m off to get myself a piece of red velvet cake (my fave!).

Love, Myrthe